SUSAN F. FILAN J.D.
DIVORCE MEDIATOR & COACH
ONLINE
DIVORCE MEDIATION
If a couple has decided to end their marriage there’s no reason to keep fighting. Mediation can be the fastest and best route to beginning your lives apart, especially if there are children. Mediation can save you time and money, and make your children’s well-being the priority.
Some people don’t know how to put their anger aside. Some people don’t know how not to fight.
Others learn how to find fair resolution as well as a solution that works without an all-out war. This is mediation, an economical, roll-up-your-sleeves way of resolving things.
ONLINE
DIVORCE COACHING
Divorce is a financial transaction just like dissolving a business, partnership or corporation. It is mostly a matter of money. But because the partnership was once romantic, and based on the most intimate bond humans can form, its disruption wreaks havoc on human emotion.
What might seem otherwise like a logical division of income, assets and property, becomes a battle of wills and hearts and egos. You will pay to get divorced- but how much and to whom is more in your hands than you may realize if you keep an open heart, a cool head, and allow logic and reason, not poison emotion, to prevail.
I RECOGNIZE YOU. I KNOW YOU.
You feel frazzled, anxious and scared. You feel trapped in your marriage. You feel unseen, unheard, devalued and disrespected. You feel criticized, put down and controlled. You fear there is No Way Out. And you blame yourself.
You gave up your career for the sake of Marriage, Home and Family. He said he would work and his career would carry you all. You thought it over, and you agreed. It all sounded good. You had a deal. But now, he thinks all the money is his, because he earns it.
You know that isn’t true, but what power do you have? What voice? You live under foreign rule without embassy. What you believe doesn’t seem to matter.
He rules. You cower. Or sulk. Or argue. Whatever. Different tactic, same result.
Where did all your power go? What happened to your spark? Your flame? Your hope? What happened to the girl you used to be?
What if I told you the way out was inside? What if I told you that you have all the answers inside you? You do.
Here is what I want you to do. (Try it. Even if you think it won’t work. Even if your inner skeptic is going nuts.)
Get quiet. Get very still. Go to the still quiet place inside of you. Close your eyes if you feel safe. And breathe. Stay in this still quiet place for 2 minutes. Set a timer if it helps you relax. It may take a minute at first, because you might only hear the rage, the pain, the fear. But hang on, it will pass, and you will find that shiny original spark inside yourself that is your True You. The You that lives behind and under the fear and pain and worry. The You that is only Love. Divine Eternal Love.
There is a part of you that knows you are dreaming when you are asleep. There is a part of you that knows you are sleeping when you are asleep. Who is that? That is the Divine Eternal You. The Real You. When you change your focus from the scared Woman to the Divine Spark of Eternal Love, feel your spirit rise.